There is nothing in the world more devastating than the death of a child. Families find it difficult to imagine how to cope with losing a child. Although parents never stop thinking about and missing their child, grief changes over time.
Parents admit that the acute and deep feelings of grief become less painful and more manageable over time. However, each person experiences grief in their own way. Grief does not follow a set schedule or pattern. Today you can feel progress, but tomorrow the simplest tasks seem impossible. Sometimes family members feel surprised or even guilty when they find that they have regained their ability to laugh at something. These feelings and reactions are natural.
What is grief?
Grief is a natural reaction to the loss of a loved one. This feeling is individual. Everyone experiences grief in their own way, with different strengths and at different times. There is no standard set of emotions that you should feel after losing a child. Common feelings and reactions include:
- shock
- sadness
- fear
- anger
- guilt
- sadness
- loneliness
- anxiety and constant excitement
- unwillingness to contact others
- persistent thoughts and memories of the child
- dreams of spending a little more time with the child and longing for lost moments
- trouble falling asleep and insomnia
- excessive sleepiness
- changes in appetite
- loss of interest in entertainment
- trouble concentrating
Grief can be experienced by everyone, but everyone experiences it in their own way. Even in the same family, spouses can have completely different reactions. Children and adolescents also experience grief in their own way, with different emotions and behaviors ranging from tears and sadness to disobedience and guilt. All of these feelings are normal.
How the trauma of child loss harms the psyche?
In some cases, family members may show symptoms of psychiatric disorders, such as anxiety disorder, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Here are the specific thoughts and feelings to discuss with your counselor:
- thoughts of reuniting with a child
- thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else
- worthlessness
- slowness of movement
- auditory and visual hallucinations
- severe concern or anxiety
- sleep problems, nightmares
- difficulty doing daily activities
- refusal to believe in the death of a child
- avoiding child reminders
- indignation
- loss of meaning and purpose in life after the death of a child
- detachment
- sudden frightening memories that make you feel like you are reliving them
Who can help me to cope with grief?
Counseling professionals – psychologists and social workers – can be a source of support in times of bereavement. If a person asks for help, this does not mean that he somehow incorrectly experiences his grief.
For some families, the counselor simply provides additional support. Parents and siblings are often afraid that their friends and relatives will tire of hearing about their grief. With a consultant, you can safely share your experiences. The professional creates a safe environment in which to talk about your feelings and helps parents and siblings cope with grief.
If you have thoughts of harming yourself or others, seek help right away. Call the emergency number (911 in the USA) and report any such thoughts.